Apologise with grace: The power of apology !

 

Table of contents 

• Benefits of apologising
• Why is it tough to apologise?
• When to apologise to someone ?
• Things to keep in mind

As I am new to driving I scratched a white car on the road. Rage was an obvious expectation. But just then I pulled down my window and apologised for my mistake. I also explained him I was new to driving and traffic was heavy to handle.

The other person was furious initially but with my apology and explaination his anger dissipated. He was instead more concerned about me now. He also gave me few tips to drive safe in that heavy traffic. That day I realised the power of an apology.

Most people accepts your apology if they see your intension is genuine and pure. It is an important ritual which can save you eight out of ten times. An apology has the power to desolve anger and end misunderstandings.

Research shows that receiving an apology has a positive impact also on our physical and mental health. It reduces blood pressure, slows down heart rate bringing stability to your breath. Both the giver and the receiver are at peace(benefits).

 Benefits of apologising

Apology can be an important way to mend relationships( personal or professional). We feel better after making an apology. Let us see what are the possible benefits of making a sincere apology.

• Apology dissipates anger:when you apologise to others they feel less hurt and their self -respect is not hampered. This helps them calm down restore peace in any situation. The anger rage dissipates cooling down the surrounding atmosphere. 
• It helps mend relationships: when the one in front of you feels safe and secure there is a chance to restore the relationship. When an apology is made it helps people feel their dignity is restored. Mending relations then becomes easier. 
• It brings dignity for those you hurt: have you stumbled upon someone and spilt your cold coffee over his white shirt. Instead of making excuses you simply ask for an apology and most of the time you will save yourself from some real troubles. This is human nature to forgive. 
• It helps build back trust: when you apologise you not only handle the situation but also builds trust. You have to keep the promise and see you do repeat the mistake. 

Why is it tough to apologise?

Since childhood we are taught to apologise, still there are times we hesitate from apologising. Sometimes we suffer mixed feelings.

• Many times we fear our apology would be taken for granted. Even though others are also involved in the conflict you being the first to apologise makes them feel they are fault free. The entire blame is put on you. 
• Sometimes an apology can also bring attention to a mistake that may not have been noticed before. 
• Our ego also keeps us from apologising.

However, in the long run an apology opens doors for resolution, restores positive feelings.

When to apologise to someone ?

When you realise something you did knowingly or unknowingly might have hurt someone's feelings you can decide to apologise or atleast have a discussion over the issue whenever possible. 

• When you hurt someone physically or emotionally intentionally or unintentionally.
• When you cannot stand to your commitments (promise). You could not attend a football match you planned with your friends the last weekend.
• You judged someone and talked bad (I'll) of them in front of others.
• You were disrespectful to someone in private or in public.

You can apologise to someone with a handwritten note or send an apology email or ask for a lunch or you can come up with some creative idea of your own that would please the other person. 

Things to keep in mind

• Take responsibility and accountability : when you indulge in a conflicting situation it is good to take responsibility and hold yourself accountable for your part of mistake. Do not take responsibility of others also as it would make you look weak and vulnerable. Buy it is no shame to be humble enough to ask for apology for your own mistake. Instead it makes you more sensible and a responsible person. 
• Communicate well : you should always clear all the points of clashes and inconveniences. Communicating well makes job easier. You have less efforts to put to convince your innocence to others. 
• Say sorry first and do not complicate it: do not hesitate to apologise first. Instead of waiting or forcing others to apologise you make the move and apologise. Keep your apology simple. Do not complicate things with lots of unnecessary explanations. 

Conclusion 

Apologising is not always easy but it is an important gesture to maintain or mend a relation. An honest apology will help you combat many conflicts which has no meaning in the long run. Do not hesitate to apologise with an open heart as it has the power to deminish the deepest wounds or scars. 

It is not for you to stress over the fact that the other will forgive you or not, you just do your part. Sometimes it takes time for some to forgive truly. Not apologising even when it is your fault can be detrimental for your professional or personal relations. This brings resentment, anger, disliking and feel of hate. A sincere apology brings relief for all.

Read more:Benefits of journaling

Frequently asked questions:

Q.1.What are the 5 R's of apology?

Recognition, remorse, responsibility, 

Read more: restitution and repetition are known as the 5 R's of an apology. Whenever you make an apology to someone you should these five qualities to make it look honest and genuine.

Q.2. How do you respond to sorry professionally?

You can say I accept your apology or don't worry about it. It happens or you can also say no problem. 

Q.3. How do you apologize in a simple way?

You can simply express remorse over your mistake and promise that it won't happen again and also take steps to make amendments to repair the damage. 

Read more: How to avoid Procrastination -what are the 5 ways to avoid Procrastination