How Stop Dwelling On Past Mistakes And Move Forward

 

Table of contents 

• What causes a person to dwell on the past?
• Is it healthy to keep dwelling on past?
• How to stop thinking about the past mistakes?F
• Few more tips you can follow 

Dwelling on our past mistakes often often leads to self-criticism. This further promotes stress, anxiety and depression. Thinking about the same thing that went wrong is bad our our mental health. Mistakes can haunt us for long if not handled properly. The only way out is to learn the lessons from the mistakes and move forward.

Forgiving ourselves is the best way to deal with the mistakes. There are several steps that can be deliberately taken if you find yourself stuck in the loop of past memories.

What causes a person to dwell on the past?

We keep ruminating over the past because we look for answers. Answers to current problems or answers to things that make no sense to you. Revisiting events over and over again might help you find answers to questions drifting in your head.

It is very normal for a human to ruminate as it is a natural behaviour for us. Our mind has evolved over centuries to dwell on past to learn from mistakes for better survival. 

Is it healthy to keep dwelling on past?

Think about past for some time is normal but ruminate over it day in and out is not at all good. It can cause distress and also affect mental health by 

• Increasing anxiety and stress
• hampering focus 
• altering sleep cycle 
• increasing fear

How to stop thinking about the past mistakes?

There are several steps that can be taken to deal with past. 

• Accept your mistakes: first step to take is to accept that you are mistaken and now you are feeling bad. Allow yourself seep in all the emotion of anger, repent, dismal, disappointment. Wrap yourself around all these heavy emotions, cry if you feel like. This will help you release tensions. But also remember "crying over the spilt milk" is of no use. 
• Express your feelings: express your feelings. If these feelings remains unaddressed then it might take longer to heal. You might open up before your close friend or family or a therapist. Healing becomes easier. 

• Practice mindfulness: whenever you catch yourself visiting your painful past again just bring back yourself to the present moment. Feel where you are sitting, how you are breathing, what you are hearing. Everything that is happening in this moment. This is mindfulness. It helps you clam down. Soothens you from within. You can listen to music or focus on your breath to practice mindfulness.
• Focus on learnings: when a mistake is done it's done. You cannot undo it now.  So it is far better to focus on things that you can control. Remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn. Without mistakes nobody has achieved anything significant. So accept your mistake and learn from them. The will make you grow wiser with time.
• Seek support when needed: talking to someone you trust is very helpful while dealing with heavy emotions. Friends, family or a therapist can help you see another perspective of the same coin. People can provide you with a healthier coping mechanism and guidance. Do shy away from seeking help whenever in need.

Few more tips you can follow 

• Limit your negative thoughts: negative repetative thoughts keeps you stuck in the vicious cycle of self-blame. Keep a check on yourself with respect to thoughts. These negative thoughts drains your energy making you fatigued and lazy. Reframe the questions next time you catch blaming yourself. Look for positive outlook to the same situations. 
• Give yourself time: practice patience and persistence. It will take time and consistent efforts. It is a long journey. You will have to work through your feelings and gradually let go the wounds. Things will not happen in a day or two. Healing takes time. 
• Practice gratitude: focus on things that are in your control. Be thankful about the positive things you enjoy and own. Your health, family, house, food are the real things you should always and always be thankful for. Consciously admire appreciate and acknowledge the positive factors of your life even in the face of challenges.

In conclusion, letting go of the past is not easy but an essential part in the journey of self- improvement. Releasing the grip of past to hold the new is a step towards growth. Embracing present and learning from past will help us long way. 

Read more: How to avoid Procrastination -what are the 5 ways to avoid Procrastination

Frequently asked questions:

Q.1. How to detach from the past?

Accepting your feelings, indulging in self-care routine, not yourself ruminate on the past are the few things you could do to detach yourself from your past.

Q.2. Why am I mentally stuck in the past?

When we suffer a traumatic event our memory gets hooked to that event. Later on we find it difficult to navigate through them as it becomes a very painful and hurting.

Q.3. How do I release myself from a past relationship?

Setting boundaries, talking to a friend or journaling can help you release yourself from your past relationship. You can also take to self-care and keep yourself busy by engaging in activities and events of your choice.

Read more:Benefits of journaling

Using Hand Gestures To Establish Better Communication With People

 

Table of contents 

• How important are hand gestures in a communication?
• Types of hand gestures 
• How to encorporate hand gestures while speaking?

Have you ever noticed that effective public speakers uses hand gestures to add effect to what they say. Research suggests that using hand gestures helps us communicate far better. We should try to talk with with along with words. It is also good for listeners as it helps them understand and remember things better. 

Talking with hands makes you be understood by others more clearly. It also helps in retention of concept both for you and your audience.It acts as using imaginary highlighters in your speech. This helps in easy retention and recall of facts and figures.This is the reason why, small children are taught rhymes with hand gestures. 

How important are hand gestures in a communication?

In 2015 TED talks (speakers were analysed) which revealed that those who used hand gestures were more popular compared to those who included less or no hand gestures. Hand gestures are very helpful in establishing connections with others.

We learn to use gestures as we grow up. This is natural. We can also intentionally make use of this fact to enhance the effect of our speech on the audience. The Dutch research team who once conducted an experiment found that hand gestures plays an important role in establishing personal communication as it haves a direct impact on what the listener actually hears.

Types of gestures 

Hand gestures can be broadly categorised into two types.

• Beat gestures: these are simple gestures which do not necessarily attach meaning to it. Plain , lucid movements of hands while speaking falls under this category.
• Iconic gestures: these are those gestures which are intentionally made to draw attention of the listeners. It also sometimes used to replace words. This could like waving hands (to say hello) , thumbs-up (to say good or okay),  hi five ( to convey excitement). 

Different gestures are used in different contexts. For example when you win a football match you will talk with your body (differently) full of enthusiasm and energy. While the same reaction may look odd while in a corporate setting.

How to incorporate gestures in your speech?

It is very much possible to train yourself to talk with your hands. This would improve your presentation and make your audience more attentive. Here are few steps how you can do it deliberately. 

• Observe yourself (be mindful) : first try to observe yourself while talking. Do you at all use hand gestures? If yes then,do they align with your speech? Do the gestures you use with intention looks natural while speaking? 
• Practice more: try to deliberately use more hand gestures like the chopping style for showing chronological order or upward or downward slope for growth or decline or three straight fingers with thumb and index forming a circle to show beautiful and many more. The bigger the audience the bigger your gestures should be. Make yourself comfortable with planned and spontaneous gestures. 
• Create gestures for important stuffs: use particular gestures the helps you highlight the main key points in your speech. This will help help you and also your audience recall things with ease. 
• Learn from others: see videos( like TED Talks) or any other popular speaker of your choice and try to imitate their moves. Study their body language while speaking. Pick new ideas from them and use them for yourself. This will help you grow.

Gestures are overall a very simple tool to use while speaking to enhance your presentation. People who uses their hand to talk are considered more appealing, approachable and filled with warmth and energy. While those who restrict their body movements are less likely to approaches and cold. 

Read more: Can Introverts Become Successful Leaders - Myths About Leadership Busted

Frequently asked questions:

Q.1. Do hand gestures show confidence?

Undoubtedly using hand gestures radiate confidence in communication. It helps you emphasize on points, convey emotions even without saying a word.

Q.2. Do intelligent people talk with their hands?

Intelligent people with caution uses their body movements while in communication.

Q.3.Is it attractive to talk with your hands?

Research suggests that people who uses hands to talk are seen as people who is filled with warmth, energy and are more approachable. Those who take to less body movements are considered as cold, unapproachable. 

Read more:Benefits of journaling