Apologise with grace: The power of apology !

 

Table of contents 

• Benefits of apologising
• Why is it tough to apologise?
• When to apologise to someone ?
• Things to keep in mind

As I am new to driving I scratched a white car on the road. Rage was an obvious expectation. But just then I pulled down my window and apologised for my mistake. I also explained him I was new to driving and traffic was heavy to handle.

The other person was furious initially but with my apology and explaination his anger dissipated. He was instead more concerned about me now. He also gave me few tips to drive safe in that heavy traffic. That day I realised the power of an apology.

Most people accepts your apology if they see your intension is genuine and pure. It is an important ritual which can save you eight out of ten times. An apology has the power to desolve anger and end misunderstandings.

Research shows that receiving an apology has a positive impact also on our physical and mental health. It reduces blood pressure, slows down heart rate bringing stability to your breath. Both the giver and the receiver are at peace(benefits).

 Benefits of apologising

Apology can be an important way to mend relationships( personal or professional). We feel better after making an apology. Let us see what are the possible benefits of making a sincere apology.

• Apology dissipates anger:when you apologise to others they feel less hurt and their self -respect is not hampered. This helps them calm down restore peace in any situation. The anger rage dissipates cooling down the surrounding atmosphere. 
• It helps mend relationships: when the one in front of you feels safe and secure there is a chance to restore the relationship. When an apology is made it helps people feel their dignity is restored. Mending relations then becomes easier. 
• It brings dignity for those you hurt: have you stumbled upon someone and spilt your cold coffee over his white shirt. Instead of making excuses you simply ask for an apology and most of the time you will save yourself from some real troubles. This is human nature to forgive. 
• It helps build back trust: when you apologise you not only handle the situation but also builds trust. You have to keep the promise and see you do repeat the mistake. 

Why is it tough to apologise?

Since childhood we are taught to apologise, still there are times we hesitate from apologising. Sometimes we suffer mixed feelings.

• Many times we fear our apology would be taken for granted. Even though others are also involved in the conflict you being the first to apologise makes them feel they are fault free. The entire blame is put on you. 
• Sometimes an apology can also bring attention to a mistake that may not have been noticed before. 
• Our ego also keeps us from apologising.

However, in the long run an apology opens doors for resolution, restores positive feelings.

When to apologise to someone ?

When you realise something you did knowingly or unknowingly might have hurt someone's feelings you can decide to apologise or atleast have a discussion over the issue whenever possible. 

• When you hurt someone physically or emotionally intentionally or unintentionally.
• When you cannot stand to your commitments (promise). You could not attend a football match you planned with your friends the last weekend.
• You judged someone and talked bad (I'll) of them in front of others.
• You were disrespectful to someone in private or in public.

You can apologise to someone with a handwritten note or send an apology email or ask for a lunch or you can come up with some creative idea of your own that would please the other person. 

Things to keep in mind

• Take responsibility and accountability : when you indulge in a conflicting situation it is good to take responsibility and hold yourself accountable for your part of mistake. Do not take responsibility of others also as it would make you look weak and vulnerable. Buy it is no shame to be humble enough to ask for apology for your own mistake. Instead it makes you more sensible and a responsible person. 
• Communicate well : you should always clear all the points of clashes and inconveniences. Communicating well makes job easier. You have less efforts to put to convince your innocence to others. 
• Say sorry first and do not complicate it: do not hesitate to apologise first. Instead of waiting or forcing others to apologise you make the move and apologise. Keep your apology simple. Do not complicate things with lots of unnecessary explanations. 

Conclusion 

Apologising is not always easy but it is an important gesture to maintain or mend a relation. An honest apology will help you combat many conflicts which has no meaning in the long run. Do not hesitate to apologise with an open heart as it has the power to deminish the deepest wounds or scars. 

It is not for you to stress over the fact that the other will forgive you or not, you just do your part. Sometimes it takes time for some to forgive truly. Not apologising even when it is your fault can be detrimental for your professional or personal relations. This brings resentment, anger, disliking and feel of hate. A sincere apology brings relief for all.

Read more:Benefits of journaling

Frequently asked questions:

Q.1.What are the 5 R's of apology?

Recognition, remorse, responsibility, 

Read more: restitution and repetition are known as the 5 R's of an apology. Whenever you make an apology to someone you should these five qualities to make it look honest and genuine.

Q.2. How do you respond to sorry professionally?

You can say I accept your apology or don't worry about it. It happens or you can also say no problem. 

Q.3. How do you apologize in a simple way?

You can simply express remorse over your mistake and promise that it won't happen again and also take steps to make amendments to repair the damage. 

Read more: How to avoid Procrastination -what are the 5 ways to avoid Procrastination

Organise Your Thoughts Clearly To Become More Productive

 

Table of contents 

• Is it important to organise thoughts?
• How to organise your thoughts?
• Exercises for brain development 
• Few more tips to organise your thoughts 

"The most fundamental principle of the organised mind is to shift the burden of organising our brains to the external world." Daniel Levitin, The Organised Mind.

On an average we pass around 60000 thoughts everyday. In which most of them are repetitive or not useful ones. We are all the time surrounded with pool of thoughts.

This digital era where we are just a click away from loads of information it is a matter of concern how to keep our brains organised.

It becomes very important to declutter the mind as an unorganised mind increases the fatigueness causing delay in decision making. Moreover, over brain is a store house of information, it can store a lot many things but it is not good at retrieving it. When you try to recall a particular piece of information it might not come out at all or even if it comes out it is distorted.

So it is advisable to organise your thoughts on paper so that retrieval becomes easier. 

Is it important to organise thoughts?

"You have power over mind not outside events. Realise this and you will find great strength." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor

An organised mind is more productive then and cluttered mind. It becomes important to consciously take steps to organise the thoughts. Organisation of thoughts also promotes room for new ideas, and reboots the brain. 

• Organising your thoughts also helps you in: organising your thoughts helps you stay focused which increases your productivity. Research shows that organising your mind boost your mind reduces stress and anxiety.
• Bring clarity for decision making: when your mind is organised it is has space for other ideas to sweep in. Declutter and clean mind is more energetic and produces better results. It becomes easier to take decisions when things are sorted. Complexity in mind regarding anything consumes more energy.
• Improves your communication: when there no complexity in mind it functions smoothly. Communication becomes smooth and flow develops in a conversation. 
• Enhance mental health: a decluttered mind is a symbol of healthy mind. You think clearly, act smartly and is more productive and focused. Mentally you are more active.

How to organise your thoughts?

Here are few tips and tricks you can use to organise your thoughts:

• Write down your thoughts: when you take to writing half of your job is done. It takes more efforts and involvement to write down your thoughts. Brain is naturally forced to think more. 
• Also when things are on paper you can make more meanings and connections. This helps in organisation of thoughts further.
• Speak out: talk to yourself. Look in mirror or simply sit on a chair and talk to yourself for atleast 15 minutes. Doing this helps you empty yourself from within and clams you down. 
• Use environment to promote healthier thinking: make a habit of walking outdoors in nature for atleast 15 minutes a day. Just spend time with yourself. Observe yourself, look at things around you without any judgement or opinion. Be present in the moment.

Exercises for brain development 

Your brain needs as much care as your body. Like our body muscles our brain muscles also enhances with the right kind of exercises. Here are few brain exercises one can perform for development of brain.

• Learn new languages: when you learn something new brain pays attention more closely. Brain makes connections and incorporates new things. This promotes healthy growth of brin. Research shows that it also reduces the chances of dementia.
• Practice drawing: drawing is not only for artists. Anybody can draw. It new neural pathways and boosts serotonin. One must draw whenever possible. It needs not be perfect. It just for your creativity.
• Do calculations: doing calculations mentally helps make new connections and boosts your brain power. It stimulates that part of the brain that regulates emotions.
• Play musical instruments: when you try to learn something new like playing a musical instrument, it stimulates different parts of your brain. It helps you boost your reaction time.
• Identify smell and flavours: consciously detecting smells improves your cognitive ability through smell training. You can also practice smelling the 5 scents (essential oils,flowers) for atleast 3 months in a row.
• Find connections between your thoughts: thoughts have connections with one another. Look for patterns in your thoughts. You will come up with some great insights.
• Use mind mapping: ask yourself questions like: 

• Why some thoughts come again and again?
• Is it connected to my past?
• Is it helpful for my future?
• How can I deal with these thoughts?

This process will force your brain to look at the passing thoughts differently. It will ransack your thoughts thoroughly. 

• Practice mindfulness dumping daily: this practice will help you declutter your mind. Write down all the tasks that you think is to be completed that day. Write down everything and anything that is drifting in your head. It will clear your headspace making more rooms for new ideas to come in.

Few more tips to organise your thoughts:

• Meditation and deep breathing helps calm down your mind making it more peaceful. Practice it for atleast 15 minutes a day.
• Drink plenty of water. It rejuvenates you and keeps you hydrated. It will keep your brain from getting foggy.
• Talk to your friend who understands your emotions and feelings. Empty yourself infront of him or her. Make sure the one with whom you talk to is someone who has not judgement towards yours emotions.

Observe your thoughts quietly. Let them pass. Keep watching. Do not try to forcefully stop them from coming to your head. It will anyway not work. Just reflect over them. You will notice something you have never noticed before.

Read more:Benefits of journaling

Frequently asked questions:

Q.1. How to organise your thoughts?

You can priorities your thoughts and seperate complex thoughts from the repetitive and simpler ones. Develop a consistent routine for doing this and you will see yourself better organized with your thoughts.

Q.2. How do I control my thoughts?

You can practice deep breathing and meditation for atleast 15 minutes a day to clam down your mind. Negative thoughts triggers a chain of useless thoughts in our mind. Be aware of such triggers. Try to remain positive as long as possible.

Q.3. How can I stop unwanted thoughts in my mind?

Donot try to stop your thoughts forcefully. It would not work. You can simply watch your thoughts and not judge them. Slowly try to fix your attention on your breath. This will slowly with practice help you stop unwanted thoughts.

Read more: How To Avoid Procrastination -what are the 5 ways to avoid Procrastination